The Problem with Gossip Columnists

A long time ago, I came across a Hedda Harper article in which she mentioned that she had run into Rock Hudson and he was thin because he was losing weight for a role. Of course, I was reading this article at least 20 years after it was written and quite a few years after Rock Hudson died of AIDS. No where in the gossip column would there ever be a hint of Rock Hudson being gay or anything about his life that was in any way substantial.

Recently, I was looking up articles about the movie The Call, which has got to be one of the shittiest movies coming out in the next couple of months. The fact that World Wrestling Federation is funding it cannot excuse just how terrible the movie is. I'm only going by the trailer but it has Halle Berry as a 911 call taker who accidentally kills a woman by calling her when the call is "there is an intruder in the house and I am hiding under the bed." The fact that she is stupid enough to call back given that situation and still keeps her job is even more untenable. The rest of the movie involves her "helping" another victim but repeatedly being thwarted by the fact that the killer keeps blocking her by killing every available witness.

I could go on, but if you want to suffer through the trailer, I'm sure it's up on youtube. I saw it twice this week. It's truly a terrible and stupid movie.

Anyhow, I find the articles on it and while one mocks Halle Berry's three facial expressions, the Perez Hilton one makes fun of the Whitney Houston wig but then states that it looks like a great movie.

I do suspect that Perez Hilton is functionally retarded which is the only reason to say that about this movie with a straight face. However, the alternate explanation is the same as the Hedda Harper/Rock Hudson story.

Gossip columnists need to kiss ass in order to get their job done. However, the very act of kissing ass pretty much undercuts their gossip. So even if they say anything cutting or nasty, it's never going to be interesting because the whole damn con job is all about trying to relive high school with the gossips the ones who hold up the dominant paradigm.

So Perez Hilton can talk shit about hairstyles, but there's not a chance in hell he's going to say that her new movie looks like she lost a bet and/or the producer is her dealer. The parasitic personality of the gossip columnist does not allow for anything interesting.