This was also the discussion that led to Seth Eben Shapiro calling me a bully and then friending me. It took me months to realize that Seth Eben Shapiro was a deranged troll who liked to attack people for being bullies simply because he knew that he could get away with more shit by that tactic. He will say any nasty thing he wants but since he called you a bully, you will be more pre-disposed to act rational even though he's being a nasty little troll.
But Seth Eben Shapiro died so I shouldn't say mean things about him. His last entry on FB is some bullshit about the Omer followed up by an argument in the comments section. So he died doing what he loved - spewing shit online.
But Dov Bear is an arrogant little prick and after his "let's revoke the second amendment" bit, I realized that the arrogance was too much a part of his identity. It's like that friend that you think is basically cool, but seems to drink a little bit too much - only to one day flip the identity markers to realize that your friend is a raging alcoholic dipshit who seems cool in rare moments of lucidity. Well that's Dov Bear. He was a smart leftwing blogger who sometimes got on a soapbox. Then in one discussion, he turned into a soapbox addict who sometimes said smart things - but only rarely.
So I don't follow him on FB, but my friends do and sometimes they comment which means that I end up seeing his posts.
I think "mansplain" is a word that only really insecure and incapable women use (and likely something only really insecure and incapable women experience, for that matter.)And now one might think and if one were generous, one might give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say that he's actually providing an example of mansplaining. This could very well be a Jonathan Swift moment.
One would be wrong.
In the comments, he went on and on and on (the man never fucking stops arguing ever) about how women should just say condescending or bullying. Why do they totally have to indict an entire gender. All those insecure and incapable women are totally just being sexist.
And you know it's funny, because I used to have a little bit of a problem with the term mansplain because I always saw it as a way of shutting down gender discussions - or at least it could be used to shut down gender discussions - example: "Thank you for telling me why the Kanye West music video with all the dead vampire women isn't sexist. Now could you go mansplain somewhere else?"
But it's not really like that - at least not at this point. Oh sure, it might turn into that one day, but for the most part, mansplainers are as fucking obnoxious as you think they would be. They are men who are explaining things based on their male privilege and they are talking to women as if they are five year old children who just don't understand such manly things as orgasms or porn or ovaries. These are the men that try to define rape in a way that they aren't guilty of fostering a rape culture. And these are the men who go "well if women use terms like mansplain, then they are just insecure. And I totally know what women are thinking because I'm a man who likes to call myself Bear - Twice!"
I suppose I should thank Dov Bear for getting me over that hurdle between slightly uncomfortable with a phrase to wholeheartedly endorsing it.