Tim Lieder (marlowe1 ) wrote,

great moments in comment threads

Apparently Carlton Mellick III's book "Baby Jesus Buttplug" is trending these days because one of those DAMN LIBERAL professors assigned it to a class and Glenn Beck heard about it (wonder how he's doing these days) and the rightwing fringe is screaming about it. I am so jealous. Seriously, everyone go buy a copy of She Nailed a Stake through his Head: Tales of Biblical Terror and give it to your craziest conspiracy theory relative - the one who is online the longest. So I am having a great deal of fun looking up the news stories about it and I found http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2013/11/frisco_merry_christmas_bill.php which actually has nothing do with Carlton's book, just a sarcastic blog article about a local attempt to bring back that War on Christmas. Most of the comments are snarky goodness (the best one of that genre being a guy who said that it worked since last December 25, he woke up and filled a pinata with firecrackers and went back to sleep while his children cried)

But the reason it came up was because of a comment by a guy calling himself "do-nativity scene" who is on other threads bitching about libtards in general and the writer in particular. I think he's serious (he also is a bit confused about anatomy and grammar since if you are buttfucking someone, you are fucking them in the butt, not the vagina - I think that was pointed out in the replies) but it's a great Aristocrats joke nonetheless:
Eric Nicholson: I propose a "Dallas Observer style Nativity Scene" where two bulldyke Marys are buttfucking each other's pussies with big black dildoes while two gay pedo Josephs (one of the Josephs could be played by you Eric) babyfuck Jesus in the manger and cram their dicks down His throat, and then advertise for other pedos to fuck Jesus on backpage.com!

Meanwhile, two leatherdaddy bear gay angels buttfuck in the heavens while they piss golden showers of gay angel pee out of their dicks down from homo heaven, raining upon the Dallas Observer-style Nativity Scene.

Then, each bulldyke lezbo Mary and gay Joseph takes their buttplugs out of their respective anuses and they all take a big steaming shit right on top on that damn baby Jesus and make him eat the poopoo and then shove a shitty buttplug in His mouth for Him to use as a pacifier!

Then the two gay Josephs and the two fat spiky-haired scowling angry bulldyke lesbians take a big devil knife and disembowel Baby Jesus and make a big Pentagram out of His blood and guts and then they invoke Satan, while buttfucking and rolling around in Baby Jesus Guts!

Then after Satan comes and buttfucks them all and makes them all get a big Satan-Facial of Deviljizz, and he blows a huge Satanic load all over the dead, disemboweled Jesus, then all the gay Josephs and dyke lezbo get ritual abortions and wave around Rainbow Flags and Co-Exist bumperstickers while shouting "Down with White Privilege", and "Won't Someone Think About The People Of Color!!??!!"

That "Dallas Observer style Nativity Scene" would be quite a hoo-ha and show those darn Christers a thing or two about how tolerant we are! I say!
I would pay to see that.
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