But I must be desperate or away for too long because a lot of the profiles look interesting. Most of the time I go to that site and just get sad for everyone who has put themselves out there on the thing (I should say every woman but gender neutral is a habit that I don't necessarily want to break - but yeah even if I wasn't straight, the Orthodox Jewish online dating site is decidedly heteronormative), but this time, every woman seemed cool and interesting.
Hopefully when I actually have the time to do date and pay for the service, they will still be there.
The main thing I noticed this time was that most of the women in my age range were asking for someone who was kind. I might have missed that before. Or it might be an age thing. I just notice it now because I put it down as well. It's like a desperate plea of "please don't be that abusive asshole that wore down every ounce of self-confidence" echoing across the internet. Please be interesting and exciting in a way that doesn't convince me that "passionate" is just a another word for always constantly angry.
Maybe I'm projecting since I seem to have come pretty late to the "yeah I think I'm ready to date an emotionally supportive woman" revelation. Not dating emotionally abusive women or chasing after women who don't want anything to do with me because I don't feel like I deserve to be happy or because I am uncomfortable being around emotionally mature and stable people and don't know what to do with long term relationships that aren't some kind of high drama (I suppose we can file that under "you can't blame being raised by a bipolar single mother for everything but that might fit").
It could very well be nothing.
And I can be a total asshole as well. Hell, I just joined the Monsanto fan club on Facebook - partially because I agree with their mission and mostly because I know that stupid fucking hippies freak out about them. Of course, that's an annoyance with conspiracy theories and pseudoscience but I know that people don't like being compared to Truthers, Birthers, anti-vaxx idiots and Creationists and I do it anyhow - because the comparison is 100% accurate.
Actually that's not total asshole, but there's a bit of assholery in that. Then again if stupid people can post their conspiracy theories on my FB feed, I can post articles telling them they are wrong. And stupid.