|I suppose I do give a damn about my bad reputation.
||[Feb. 1st, 2017|11:45 am]
Since Amazon removed all of my reviews, my google search for my own name comes up with even more "Tim Lieder is an asshole" posts. Some of them I regret but others I just think that I should not have been reading terrible people at 3 in the morning. So why did I find Requires Hate's new incarnation as Bee Something and go to her "I'm a poor victim of the internet" articles and tweets and then dispute the fact that she was a victim at all? Of course, she is going to take all my morning tweets and make a Storify about them (including my angry tweets at an anti-Zionist writer because she is clever enough to know that she is not going to be able to sell herself as a poor victim after the Hugos gave an award to the journalist who busted her stalkerish stupid blog). I don't think I should have done that. I don't think that Bee is a good person or that she didn't deserve to be told to fuck off, but I didn't have to do it. Nor did I have to do it at three in the morning.|
But then there are other blogs about me being an asshole - Furry Jews long rant is one of them. There's also a post on Cheaters & Liars where I am not even a cheater so much as the guy doesn't like me. And then there's Yvonne Mason who was mad at me for saying that Black Bedsheets was a stupid company. At very least she's stopped calling herself Award Winning Author and is now just Indie Author for her badly written, Photoshop cover true crime books. She's like the second person. And she's calling me insecure and the same stuff (well duh - read anything I write and that is clear). She also doesn't get my line about dismissing her award-winning self-identification where I stated that a mug that says "World's Best Grandmother" is not an award that a writer can brag about (unless we are comparing the writer to Marion Zimmer Bradley).
So yeah I guess this bothers me. I don't know if it bothers me because I want to go to cons and it's not good when I am trying to introduce myself and I know they are googling me. Maybe it bothers me because there is some truth to it. I try to be a good person but often the angry shitty aspects are put out there into the world. And maybe it's a good thing that it bothers me. I don't want to be the angry sardonic asshole. I have done that. I don't want to write Holden Caulfield fan fiction with myself as the protagonist.
I have been angry. I have been pissy. I also don't necessarily take the people seriously - Yvonne Mason is an idiot. Bee Segwhatever/Winterfox/Requires Hate is a stupid asshole whose fiction is fucking boring and criticism kept going to the "I'm going to hit you with a hammer for putting an Asian character in your fiction" well. Furry Jew is psychotic (and not blogging lately). I have no clue who decided that I was shitty for Cheaters & Liars.
The only bit that I feel intrinsically bad about is defending Richard Brittain. I doubted the story of the woman that he attacked because it seemed so out there and until he pleaded guilty there really was a media blackout. So I argued that she was lying and picking on a man who was mentally ill. I have so little patience for the people that are still defending Bill Cosby or Alan Dershowitz but then I turn around and be the "nuh-uh, that's bullshit" guy? I guess the reason I didn't believe it was because I didn't want to believe it. I also didn't want to believe that Bill Cosby was guilty unil there were at least 10 women coming forth. Who wants to believe that kind of shit happens - or that that kind of shit is perpetrated by people we are normally prone to feeling affection for. So I felt sorry for Brittain because he is mentally ill. And that blinded me to the notion that the woman who was attacked was telling the truth- or possibly telling the truth - at least telling the truth enough to not require people to step in and be lawyers in the court of public.
I guess I just need to sell more stuff and get those bad ones pushed off the front page of google. Seriously, it's annoying when I am looking for writing samples when I pitch and I just see Tim Lieder is an asshole.